Lark News

Missionaries Finally Update Prayer Card 

OCALA, Fla. — After 28 years of handing out the same prayer card, Jeanette and Richard Nusbaum, missionaries to Ghana, have finally updated their photo.
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“We overprinted,” says Richard, recalling the day in 1979 when he mistakenly placed an order for 100,000 cards instead of 1,000. “Rather than waste the Lord’s money printing new ones, we decided to use them until they ran out.”
The cards officially ran out last Wednesday at a mid-week service in Kansas. The Nusbaums now hope their new photo, which shows them nearly three decades older, doesn’t shock and alienate long-time supporters.
“Some people don’t even know that in the meantime, we had three children and seven grandchildren,” he says

Emergent leaders call for ‘missional re-understanding of Jesus-followership and Christ-focus imbued with passionate creativity and emotional authenticity,’ whatever that means

CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa — At a recent conference-like “gathering” of emergent church leaders, various factions sparred over competing visions for the future of the movement.
    Leaders on one side called for “deepening and continuously beautiful efforts toward emotionally true self-divulgence and confession.” Other leaders countered with a call for “a theological re-purposing of our objective and subjective missionality within a framework of God-love.” Because few in attendance actually understood what either side meant, both ideas were tabled.
    The sides did agree that emergent leaders should continue to take every opportunity to make casual, cool cultural references to popular television shows, movies and Internet phenomena to introduce quasi-intellectual spiritual points about the state of the American church.
    They also pledged to maintain their reputation for being “more spiritually honest than the millions of people who attend institutionalized churches every week and blindly go along with the programs, sermons and mindset that make American Christianity the colossal failure it is today.”
    After toasting themselves with various hyper-cool micro-brews, the audience adjourned to begin 7- and 8-hour theological bull sessions in their hotel rooms and local bars.
    Conference organizers say they will meet again to do the same thing next year.

More stories at Lark News.

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